Candy Canes are made by Satan.

Yesterday, 4pm. I check on Da Boy who was playing in his room, now he's asleep. Greeeaat. We are supposed to be going to get pizza at 4:45 so that we can have it at home when Mr. Man gets there from work at 5pm. I wake DB at 4:30 and tell him "You can wear your jammies, but we gotta get your boots on so we can go get pizza." I carry him into the dining room and start working on his boots. They don't want to go on, with his footed jammies, but we finally get it done. I stand up and he says "Mommy, I wan Anny Ain!"(candy cane) I say "Alright here, you can have the rest of the one you started earlier (the crook part)" I hand it to him and he looks at me like I'm nuts. I think Oh boy, what now? Oh please don't, we gotta go! He gets that look - you know the one, where his eyes get all big and he slowly starts to pout? Yeah.... sigh. "What's wrong, hunny? That's your candy cane. Here let me unwrap it for you and lets go.

It's now 4:38.

"I don wan dis one, mom I wan udder part." He says trying to hand it back.
"Son, just take that part, it's the half you didn't eat yet, you don't need another one, eat that one. Let's go" I pick him up and start carrying him to the car. I actually got him inside the back seat and half way into his car-seat before he freaked out. He starts crying and screaming "Anny Ain" and "NO" at me and wriggling, struggling, trying to get out of his seat, as I'm trying to fasten his 5 point harness. I get one arm in, he slips it out when I start on the other arm. He goes 'stiff as a board' on me and I can't do anything. He's crying, I'm red in the face and still saying "No son, get in your seat, let me buckle you in, you are hurting yourself STOP!" to no avail. Finally, I just gave up. I looked at him and let me just say for the record... I could have really really lost it. I let him go, and closed the door with him in the car. I went back into the house and got the stupid friggin candy cane. I bring it back and unwrap it, and go to hand it to him and he's sitting there, pretty as a picture in his seat, tear streaked with snot sliding down his face. "Ank you Mommy". I told him "Yeah you'd better say thank you because that's the last candy cane you're ever gonna see you got that?" "Awwight, Mama, dat's awwight."

Sigh. So now I'm crying, he's fine and it's 4:56. Tried to call Chris on the phone, but couldn't get him, so I try to leave and realize I don't have the stupid garage door clicker. I pull out of the garage, turn off the car, take the keys inside and close the garage door. Walk through the house, go out the front and now I can't get the door to lock, the key won't turn. AAAAHHHRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG! Seriously?!? Really?!? FINE. Back to the car, he is just going at his candy cane and talking to himself like everythings perfect and I'm now the one having the meltdown. I start driving down out street, it's snowing like hell and I can barely see anything.

5:06pm We finally get to the pizza place, get the pizza. DB says "Can I get a ball?" (he always gets a bouncy ball there) and I say "Not on your life kid" and the pizza lady looks at me. I smile. She looks down and raises her eyebrows.  I take a deep breath, pay for the pizza, grab it and DB's hand and get the hell out of there. As we drove back, the snow stopped and by the time we pulled into the driveway Chris is there. He says "You could have waited, we could have all gone together."

Have you ever heard the sound of your own head imploding? I have, happened last night.