Friday, April 22, 2011

Good Friday? Rant...

I love how, as a Christian, I am expected to allow people to walk all over me. To say things that hurt me, piss me off, or demean me - but I'm not allowed to 'get my feelings hurt' 'get pissed off' or say anything back to them. I'm just supposed to let it go, smile, and pretend that they aren't total idiots (therefore proving myself to be one). Gee, thanks for that.

Why is that? I'm beginning to hate facebook because of this. People seem bent on saying things on there that not only are rude, crude, and otherwise totally unacceptable, yet somehow if I contradict them in any manner, I'm the bad guy!! WTF?! Seriously ... I'm really done with people thinking I don't care if they tell me abortion is right, gay marriage is cool, or giving birth in hospitals is bad (and I'm pretty sure this includes breast feeding too, OMW).

Yes, I know .. calm down Miranda. It's Good Friday, think about the sacrifice that Christ made for you - don't downplay it by getting all worked up over something that isn't worth it. But you know what? This isn't just about today .. this shit happens all the time, and I'm finally fed up. I believe it's time to sever some connections, clean up the mess, get rid of the problem. Burn those bridges that lead to harmful and scary places. I'm afraid to, though. I'm afraid because I know that I will be the 'bitch' for doing it - I don't want to lose friends .. I don't have enough to be losing. But is it worth keeping these friendships - and the cost of my emotional balance, my inner peace? My stress levels are through the roof, and everytime I get upset like this, ya know what happens next? I can guarantee that within 24 hours my back will be out, with shooting pains down my legs and a migraine, and I'll be hurting again, not just emotionally, but physically. 

I'll end up being a pariah on FB to those people. And not just FB, but a number of other sites, where we all connect. Is it worth it; to maybe be cast away from my other friends because of these few people that are making me crazy? Am I the one in the wrong here? I don't know .. I'm sure some people reading this are laughing because this is all my own fault and here I am bitching about it and blaming others. I know that I have a hand in this, I realize that. I have my own issues that I have to deal with and part of that is just that I see these people with things that I wish to have, that don't treasure them. They have this most wonderful treasure and they do nothing but complain and gripe and treat it like it doesn't mean anything - yet I would give anything for the blessing they have.

I'm not sure what to do right now .. ranting about it has helped a little, but now it's time to act on it. What to do - sever the ties and move on, or smile and plot their deaths in my head?

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