Welcome Once Again

You don't have to read this. I give you permission right now to close the page. I give you free reign over the comment box, and I PROMISE I will NOT get upset if you don't use that box. I am done trying to please everyone, and by proxy be pleased. I've learned that that isn't reasonable and it's also ridiculous. I'm a big girl now, and I can handle it. This is NOT going to be an Art Blog, nor yet and Crafting Blog, or even a Mommy Blog. This is Miranda's blog. What I post may not make any sense to you, but you aren't Miranda (and if you are, well, the hell with you, you aren't the right Miranda ;))

I've been spending a lot of time thinking lately, but not a lot of action has come from it. Mind you, a lot of things are going on (and I mean a LOT) and things are changing ... hell, my whole LIFE is changing. Anyway, I digress (for the moment) to tell you the reason this post showed up in your email/blog roll/reading list/thingy.

It's 2012 and since so many things are changing in my life, I need a place I can put it all down, in my own words and be able to not only document, but to review at a later date; (some of) the events of my life.

Take it or leave it. This is for me and those that love me. If you love me (or even kinda like me) I would be honored and thankful if you did read it. HOWEVER, please don't feel obligated to do so - this is neither the time nor the place for it.

I will post again later today if I have time, but for now I must go, it's lunch time and I'm hungry. I am going to try and post something, even if it's short and stupid, at least 4-5 times a week. I may screw that up, but I'm the only one who that will matter to, and I'm ok with it ;)

God Bless and stay strong. Enjoy your coffee. Know that you are loved, regardless.
~Miranda

Faith in God & Coffee

Looks like the Blog Fairy dropped by! With a brand new blog design and name I just wanted to let y'all know... it's still me. It's still Miranda... just, uh, updated. I realized this has become more than just a Mommy Blog. It's a me blog. I talk about everything here, not just being a mom, and that's ok. God bless all you strict Mommy Bloggers out there - I love you and your dedication. But I'm too ... what's the word...everywhere for that.  I get stressed out trying to think of the same old things to post about. 

So - welcome! I hope you'll stick around. Ya never know... ya just might learn something ;)

~Miranda

Hiatus

Hello friends. I'm so sorry that I haven't been posting lately. I haven't been able to. So... here's the short version, since I don't really have the energy or sitting ability to give you the longer one right now. On 3/28/2010 my back went "out". Now, I've had back troubles for years, but this was different. After hours crying and screaming and horribleness, Mr. Man finally convinced me to go to the hospital. They gave me pain meds and whatnot and several hours later we headed home, after a trip to Walgreens for oxycodone and a cane. Yes, a cane.

That was  a week and a half ago. Since then, I've been in a lot of pain, ranging from really bad to tolerable, depending on how long ago I took my meds or whether I was sitting, standing or trying to pee. Last Friday I had an MRI done on my back. The results are in. I have something called Lumbar  Degenerative Disc Disease and Lumbar Stenosis. I'll just call it LDDD since it was a bitch to type out. From what I've been able to find out online about this disease, it's basically arthritis of the back, but normally is only present in the elderly. I'm 30. So, I have an appt. with a back specialist on Friday to go over my MRI results and find out what we can do about this, to get me back on my feet (yes, I'm still on the cane).

I'm fine. Really... I am. It's just hard to walk, or sit/lay/stand for any length of time without changing position. I'm sorry I haven't posted. Joshua comes home today, and I'm a bit worried about it, since I can't do 3/4 of the things I normally can, but it IS getting better. I'm hoping to be done with the cane in the next couple days. I cannot thank my loving church family enough for all of the support and kindness we've received since this started. Meals have been provided, rides to the doctors, phone calls, facebook messages and prayers.... I love you all, even if you don't read this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and am still hoping to find a way to repay these kindnesses. Sitting here at the computer for the time it has taken me to type this up is starting to wear on me, so I'm going to wrap this up. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm here, I'm ok, and I love and miss you all. I'm hoping to be able to start my daily blogging again regularly, and I'm going to start trying with tomorrow's post.  God bless you all, my friends, and I'll keep you posted!

~Miranda

Post-it Note Tuesday 2/2/2KX

 

  

  

 

Princesses, surgeons, & snowmen

It's 9 AM - do you know where your hand surgeon is? GUESS WHAT FOLKS?! It's consult day with my new hand doctor! Don't worry, I'm not late yet - my appointment is at 1:30pm. I think.. maybe 1:10pm? I guess I'd better call and make sure. lol

What an interesting, tear-filled, headache inducing last week/weekend I've had. Boy, I don't even know where to start. Guess I should start out by apologizing. So, I'm sorry I didn't post much this last week - and that which I did post, kinda sucked. It's not that I didn't have anything to post about (because really I did!!) I just wasn't feeling up to sharing. So, forgive me, and I'll fill you in about my last week and weekend.

Tuesday and Wednesday last week were great for the most part! Da Boy and I crafted, all three of us went to church (I do childcare and MrMan works in the tech booth) It was great. I even took pics of the things that Da Boy and I made... wanna see?

Da Boy, crafting! 

  

This was our sugar sprinkles heart we made for Daddy 

 I has a fishie!

Close up of fishie.

Snowmen! Mine has green buttons, Da Boy chose red buttons.

I made him a flower, and he spent half the day with it :)

On Thursday, I took Da Boy to daycare so his birth father could pick him up - it'll be 2 weeks before I see him again. February 10th, to be exact. Afterwards, I met Princess for coffee, which believe me - I needed that!! She is always so uplifting and real - I just love this gal! I don't know what I would do without these "coffee breaks" with my friend. Oh, and remember me telling you about the Pastor's wife whom I cried over last week? Well, she's gonna go to coffee with us next time!!  squee

I spent Friday cleaning the house - literally from top to bottom so that no one would be embarrassed when Princess and her hubz came over that night with our new table! Yay!! We weren't sure we were going to get said table, but in the end it was perfect for us and we love it! You would have a pic, but my camera battery is charging and I'm too lazy to go and check to see if it's ready. I have too many other things to tell you first!

Saturday was church, and it was fantabuloso! Sunday, however, was a bit different. Sunday, our church held a "members only" meeting, and we voted in our new Pastor. I was totally overwhelmed by the whole thing, and cried through most of it. Not because I was upset or disappointed, (I'm actually happy and excited about it) but because I just flat-out couldn't find a better way to express my emotions. My Mom used to tell me I "cry for everyone that can't" - in other words I cry all the damn time, and over some of the most ridiculous things.

Today I have my consult meeting with the hand surgeon (at 1:30, I just checked), although I'm having second thoughts about the surgery. Since my last doctor appt with Dr. Yamamoto, my cyst has shrunken so much that I can move it back and forth and mostly without pain. I can type, do dishes and laundry, and my own hair (thank you very much!) I know some of it has to do with the meds the doctor put me on, but I also know that most of it has to do with God, and the fact (that I didn't know) that I had several people praying for healing for me. Can I get an Amen?


So, until 1pm, I'm going to sit here and work on a new blog design - eventually I will have my own, custom design and not a pre-built template! At least, that's the plan. I wish I could draw... I know the art I want, I just don't know anyone who will do it for free. Cuz yeah, I'm broke. Well, I'm too broke to pay for art for a blog anyways.

I miss Da Boy like crazy, but I'm not gonna let that get me down right now. I have work tonight, and the little hellions will keep me too busy to think about him it'll be fun to hang out with all the little ones.

My weekend in review

This last weekend was a doozy - I'm still reeling from certain aspects of it, and I don't expect that to change anytime soon. A few months ago, we were notified that our senior Pastor would be leaving to start a new church in California, and needless to say, I found the news a bit... stressful. Last Tuesday we were notified that another of our Pastors would be moving on, and that the Saturday service would be a "send off" for him and his wife.So, sick though we've been, Mr. Man, Da Boy and I made it to church. The place was packed! The only time we have that many people on a Saturday is for Easter or Christmas services. After a stirring worship session and a powerful sermon, they brought up the Pastor and his wife. It was explained that they have heard the call of the Lord and will be moving to our newest affiliate church in North Lake Tahoe. Then, like 3/4 of the church stood up and walked to the stage! All of these extra people were from the other church - come to welcome their new Pastor. WOW! I was astonished! What a fantastic gesture! Then they said the name of the church. My eyes got big, my head snapped up, and all of a sudden I couldn't seem to breathe. It just happens to be the church I married my first husband in. It also just happens to be the church Mr. Man's ex-wife and husband go to. You have got to be kidding me. Then, as I looked into the face of our ex-Pastor's wife, I started crying. I don't know her well, we haven't become 'friends' or anything,  but I can't imagine her not being there anymore. She is the one that handed me the sponsor packet for our little girl in Africa. She called me by name when she handed it to me saying "Miranda, this one is for you." At the time, I didn't even know she knew my name. Since then, we've shared a couple of jokes (they are form Texas, I used to live there also) we've talked about Da Boy and potty training, and wished each other a Merry Christmas with a hug. So why was I blubbering like a baby? Because she had tears in her eyes? No ... it's because I'm so absolutely sick of losing people.  They just keep leaving, and it seems that when they do - they never come back. They either pass on to Glory, or move too far to visit, or whatever, but I never see them again and I'm totally fed up with it. There's a reason I like things the way they are. Seems to me when things change, it's not usually for the better. Hhmmmpp.


What? There's more, you ask? Oh, that's just the beginning of my weekend! After church, Chris (who also had tears in his eyes, thank you very much!) offers to take us to one of the casinos for dinner at their cafe. We get there, Da Boy has fallen asleep in the backseat, I carry him in and we sit down. We order our dinners - Chris got a sandwich with green chilies, Da Boy orders a hot dog, and I get a taco salad. We all color Da Boy's menu while we wait (I was going to scan it in for you, but I'm too friggin lazy. Just know that it was awesome) and begin to devour it when the food arrives.  Chris is done first (of course) and as I'm taking my 4th bite of salad his work phone rings. He answers it (because he's on call this week) and I hear "Yeah I'll be there as soon as I can". I look around the table - Chris is done, Da Boy is working on an onion ring and has half of his hot dog left, and I haven't even made a dent in my dinner yet. Ok. So I chase after the waitress and get two to-go boxes and the check. We hightail it out of there and race home. Chris jumps in his work truck and Da Boy and I sit down to finish our dinner. Da Boy asks when Daddy will be home and I say "soon honey, it won't take too long". HA! HA! Friggin HA! That was at 7pm. Da Boy and I played his little bingo game and two rounds of checkers. I gave him a bath and read him a story, I put him to bed at 9:15.  By midnight I was so tired I could barely stand and I'd cleaned everything short of the toilets and the floors. I'd read some of my book, I'd colored in my coloring book (shuddup, I like it) I'd checked my farm on facebook. Da Boy woke up at 12:30 and told me "I can't go to sleep" I put him back in bed where he promptly fell back to sleep. Chris finally made it home at 1:30 in the morning. Sigh.

Sunday (what, you think my weekend was only one day long?) was our "rest up" day. Da Boy woke up around 8am and I got up with him, trying to let Chris sleep a bit. I get Da Boy all settled with cereal and orange slices and Sesame Street, and I grab my coffee and head outside for a cigarette. I put my foot on the one step down to the garage, and fall. Seriously. Somehow as I am falling, I manage to spill all of the coffee in my cup, yet set the thing down softly and upright directly in front of me. I thought my ankle is broken. It's not, thankfully, but it certainly felt like it. I managed to get back up, hobble into the kitchen and call Da Boy to help me. He runs over, helps me out of my hazel-nut drenched sweater, and pulls up my pant leg to see if I am bleeding (I love my little doctor) Since I wasn't, I refill my coffee cup and head (slowly) back outside. By the time I get back in, Chris is up, and I am having trouble walking. My leg is fine, but my back is out. Grrrrr.

We spent the rest of the day, alternating between watching football, napping, and playing games - all with me on the heating pad.

You think Mondays suck? I'll trade you your Monday for my weekend anytime!

Changes

Why must things always change, right when I'm getting used to them? What IS that? Is it me? Seems like everytime I get into something, I start feeling comfortable and then WHAM! the whole thing gets turned upside down and inside out.

What am I talking about? I'm talking about my church. Which also happens to be my workplace. *sigh* Before Chris and I started going to CVC, we hadn't been going to church at all. Our previous church was out of the question; the people were rude, the church did nothing but ask for money, and it just wasn't working out - we weren't learning anything. We didn't 'feel' it.

The first time I went to CVC, I didn't really want to go. I didn't want to have to deal with the whole 'give God your money and you'll go to heaven' rigamorol. So, I took a deep breath and waited for it to come. It never did. I spent that hour and a half entranced by the music, the fellowship, the sermon. Mostly, I was entranced by the Pastor. Everything he said that day was designed specifically for me and about the things that were going on it my life. Right then and there I knew I'd found it. Finally, I'd found my "home church". I re-affirmed my pledge to Jesus and haven't looked back once. So many things in my life have changed since then. God has been working overtime in my life. Every Saturday, we go to church, and every Saturday I learn something, about God, about the bible, about myself.

Pastor John has changed my life. I am totally ok with that change. The change I'm having trouble with is this...

He's leaving. They've changed the name of the church from Carson Valley Christian Center to LifePoint Church. Why? I have no idea. I'm a little distressed about the name change, but I can live with it (Why on Earth would they chose 'Life Point' when there are 15 kazillion churches called that?) What I'm having trouble with is the fact that the one person who has EVER been able to lead me to Jesus and KEEP me there is going away. It may sound absurd but I feel a bit abandoned. Like a Dad who decides that he doesn't want to live with his wife and kids anymore, and says he's leaving. Maybe it's because I had just found God for the first time about a month before my Dad passed away. I don't know - and that's not something I'm inclined to get into right here right now. All I know is that all this is changing and I'm stressed about it. I can't stop thinking about this, and I don't know what to do. I can't change it, I know that. I need to change my reaction to it. But how? I've been praying about it everyday since I found out, and yet God doesn't seem to want to help me work it out. I don't even know where Pastor John is going, I just know he's leaving. Who is going to be our new Pastor? I have an idea, but I pray and hope that I'm wrong. If I'm not, I know for a fact that several families will not be attending church there any longer. Ours will be one of them, I'm afraid.  I don't want to leave CVC, uh, LifePoint, but we'll have to see what happens I guess. I'm not going to quit my new job, I can tell you that for sure!! But what if when the new Pastor starts up, the church loses that 'feel'? *sigh* I really don't know what to do, think, feel, etc... and I don't know who I can talk to about it, besides God, and he doesn't seem to want to chat about it.