Chariots of Fire

16 “Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. “For there are more on our side than on theirs!” 17 Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!” The Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside around Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire.
2 Kings 6:16-17

I've been struggling hard for the last week to remember this passage. It seems like the Enemy has been gunning for me lately, and I feel my defenses being routed. I keep falling into his traps and pitfalls, and it's getting harder and harder to get back up and doggedly march on. I worry all the time; about my body, money (or lack thereof), my family, my husband's job, my church, my friends, my relationship with God... everything. I don't really have cause to worry so much about these things, considering most of them are fine and will take care of themselves. But I can't help it. I lay awake at night praying, asking God for some kind of sign, maybe a letter in the mail saying "Relax, daughter, I really do have everything in hand." Or even just a text, you know - "I got dis 4U no worryz k?" I mean really, would it be so hard for Him to make those chariots visible to me once in awhile? I know they are there - I know that He's got my back in this fight. I wish I could just get out of this funk - I feel like I'm in the middle of a bad dream and can't wake up.

The problem with the whole thing is this - there's absolutely NO reason for me to feel this way! My life is really super good right now! I have an amazing husband, a fantastic son, and a wonderful home to live in! I've been blessed with friends that really care for me and for whom I care deeply. A church family that has brought me to Christ and taught me that no one need ever feel alone. How can I even think of feeling depressed?! I don't know, but somehow I still do. I find myself getting angry, frustrated and anxious for no apparent reasons, quite a bit more frequently than is called for. It seems I can't avoid it, or control it. I try to pray it away and end up just mentally listing all the reasons I feel unloved, ignored, angry or slighted. Then I get mad at myself for complaining (because I know my complaints are unfounded) and start the cycle over again.

So where are my Chariots of Fire? God's army backing me up against the enemy? I know they are there... I just wish God would open my eyes to them.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

I have spent the last several days doing just that. Or rather, trying to do just that. I've been anxious, and scared, and unable to make simple decisions for the last week. So, once I figured out that I was being attacked by the Enemy, I've been battling those feelings, and turning to my Life Manual for help. I found it in two places. The scripture above has been a mantra for me throughout these last few months, but I've also been directed (by friends, the Christian radio station I listen to, and Pastor Bill's sermons) to Jeremiah for inspiration, comfort and support from my Father. 

Jeremiah 29:11-15

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 31:3-4

 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
       "I have loved you with an everlasting love;
       I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

  I will build you up again
       and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
       Again you will take up your tambourines
       and go out to dance with the joyful."

I am scheduled to have my first epidural shot today. This is supposed to help relieve the pain so that I am able to do physical therapy and strengthen my core and back so that the next time it starts hurting it may not be as bad. I've been really stressing about this procedure,  but I know that God wants me to do it, and that it will help. I also know that many people are praying for me. I wish there was a way I could say "Thank You" enough for everything that my friends have done for me... but I don't know how. The only way I can, is to do my best to get better.

LOLCat Bible?!

Can they be serious?1 Oh yes they can.... (found this on Wikipedia, no jokez, kthxbai)  For those of you that aren't familiar with reading lolzcat - everything is phonetics and it actually does make sense, if you read it out loud :)

Lolcat Bible - Genesis Chapter 1

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.

 

  

  

You think you've seen it all? I thought so too, until I found Psalms in LOLcat too... *headdesk*