I can't believe I said that!

Since Da Boy was about a year and a half old, I've been making a list... a list of things I never thought I'd say. Today I thought I'd share a few of them with you.

We don't put color pencils in our nose
Mommy's going poopie. Yes, you can see.
Ummm, this is Mommy's diaper. No, I don't want one of yours, but thanks.
No, I'm not going to kiss your penis, even if it does have a boo-boo
Will you please take my bra off, it's not a backpack.
If you let me brush your teeth, I'll give you a candy.
No, I don't have boogers, get your finger outta my nose!
We don't touch the kitty's bottom with our faces, please.
Daddy's going potty... go see if he needs help. (heehee)
Where did you put the cat, son?! Cat's do not go in the closet!
Come here let me smell your butt.
Can I suck your thumb too?
Here, lemme get your booger.
No baby, we don't eat christmas tree.
I'll give you a candy if you promise to go away.
Those are my boobies, thank you.
Sorry baby, outside is closed today.
Don't put your tongue in my mouth.
It's finger paints - it'll be fun!
Of course you can use my pots for drums!
Yes you look very pretty in Mommy's headband.
Did it fall on the floor? Give it to me, I'll eat it.
No, we don't hide in the fireplace, please!
Do you want to go see Daddy Dusty? No? Then stop please.

and my favorite, and probably most traumatizing for Da Boy....

If you poop in them, I'm going to make you wash them out in the toilet.
(and he did too!)

What's that smell?

So this morning after Mr. Man left for work, I went into the dining room (where my computer lives) turned on the  light and the computer and then  started to get Da Boy settled in (you know; cereal, Lazy Town on TV, and some milk) so I could check my email, facebook and blog.

Got him all squared away, and as I sat down to get online, I smelled something. Smelled like a hot glue gun.
WTH? So I get up and start wandering around the house, sniffing. Da Boy wants to join the fun, so he gets up and starts following me around, sniffing and meowing (yeah).

We finally end up back in the dining room. It’s stronger here, and I’m starting to get worried. I’ve sniffed all the electrical outlets and light switches. The heater vents and the computer. The fish tank and the coffee pot.  Nothing. Can’t find it. Now I’m getting frustrated, and he is getting upset that I don’t wanna play kitty with him. What do I do? I call Mr. Man. (afterall - that's what he's there for, right?)

MM: Hey babe what’s up?
Me: I smell something.
MM:  something like what?
Me: like a hot glue gun, like burning plastic. Seems like it’s centered in the dining room.
MM: Check the Jeep (our dining room door leads to the garage)
Me: I did, it’s not in the garage at all. (I’m still wandering around the dining room, sniffing as I talk)
MM: Burning plastic… did you check the computer?
Me: Yes, it’s not coming from there… it seems to be up high.

I look up. The only thing up there is the light.

Me: Uh oh.
MM: What? Did you find it?
Me: Uh huh, I think so. (I climb up on a chair and look closely at the light. The smell is really strong now)
MM: What is it?
Me: *sigh* Oh no… it’s the light…(I see smoke coming from one of the bulbs)  Wait, hold on, what IS that? I think… ( I get off the chair, go to the other side of the table and get up on that chair) Oh boy… CHILD!!
MM: What’s going on, what did you find???
Me: Son, where is your orange plane?
Da Boy: Up dere. (He points at the light)
Me: (to chris) Josh shot his plane up into the light and it’s melted to the bulb.
MM: Oh. I see. Well at least you found it.

Oh yeah, I found it alright….