Why must things always change, right when I'm getting used to them? What IS that? Is it me? Seems like everytime I get into something, I start feeling comfortable and then WHAM! the whole thing gets turned upside down and inside out.
What am I talking about? I'm talking about my church. Which also happens to be my workplace. *sigh* Before Chris and I started going to CVC, we hadn't been going to church at all. Our previous church was out of the question; the people were rude, the church did nothing but ask for money, and it just wasn't working out - we weren't learning anything. We didn't 'feel' it.
The first time I went to CVC, I didn't really want to go. I didn't want to have to deal with the whole 'give God your money and you'll go to heaven' rigamorol. So, I took a deep breath and waited for it to come. It never did. I spent that hour and a half entranced by the music, the fellowship, the sermon. Mostly, I was entranced by the Pastor. Everything he said that day was designed specifically for me and about the things that were going on it my life. Right then and there I knew I'd found it. Finally, I'd found my "home church". I re-affirmed my pledge to Jesus and haven't looked back once. So many things in my life have changed since then. God has been working overtime in my life. Every Saturday, we go to church, and every Saturday I learn something, about God, about the bible, about myself.
Pastor John has changed my life. I am totally ok with that change. The change I'm having trouble with is this...
He's leaving. They've changed the name of the church from Carson Valley Christian Center to LifePoint Church. Why? I have no idea. I'm a little distressed about the name change, but I can live with it (Why on Earth would they chose 'Life Point' when there are 15 kazillion churches called that?) What I'm having trouble with is the fact that the one person who has EVER been able to lead me to Jesus and KEEP me there is going away. It may sound absurd but I feel a bit abandoned. Like a Dad who decides that he doesn't want to live with his wife and kids anymore, and says he's leaving. Maybe it's because I had just found God for the first time about a month before my Dad passed away. I don't know - and that's not something I'm inclined to get into right here right now. All I know is that all this is changing and I'm stressed about it. I can't stop thinking about this, and I don't know what to do. I can't change it, I know that. I need to change my reaction to it. But how? I've been praying about it everyday since I found out, and yet God doesn't seem to want to help me work it out. I don't even know where Pastor John is going, I just know he's leaving. Who is going to be our new Pastor? I have an idea, but I pray and hope that I'm wrong. If I'm not, I know for a fact that several families will not be attending church there any longer. Ours will be one of them, I'm afraid. I don't want to leave CVC, uh, LifePoint, but we'll have to see what happens I guess. I'm not going to quit my new job, I can tell you that for sure!! But what if when the new Pastor starts up, the church loses that 'feel'? *sigh* I really don't know what to do, think, feel, etc... and I don't know who I can talk to about it, besides God, and he doesn't seem to want to chat about it.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
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