Made It Myself!

Happy Tuesday folks! Today I wanted to show y'all something I made. Why? well, because I'm proud of it, and it makes me feel accomplished.

Last week I started using Pinterest. I know, I know... but it's cool. It's like tumblr for real people (not just fangirls and freaks) and I found this really neat idea -

 

 

 

 

 - a DIY rotating goals board! Wow, what an awesome idea ... I gotta try that! The original post is HERE. Well, I did. And I'll be honest here - I never do anything the way they say ya should, I have to do it my way. So, without further ado, I hereby present my very own Goals Board!

 

 

 

Isn't it neat? 

Here's what I did:

Post-it-Notes *hint: I pulled the post-it-note packs in half, so it wouldn't be too heavy for my cheap glue-stick work*, 2 pieces of paper for computer printouts (because as I'm sure you can see, I can't draw for my life) and (not quite 1/2) a black foam board from the Dollar Tree.  Ruler, pencil and an Xacto knife and some really old, cheap glue sticks. A little bit of measuring and some yarn, and Viola! 

Done and DONE.

If you make one yourself, please post a link to a pic in my comments section - I'd love to see how you made it your own!

Enjoy Today and God Bless!

~M

Confessions

On my mind,top 10 confessions:

((meme seen on tumblr))

1. I love the shows Sherlock, Merlin, and The Big Bang Theory.
2. I smoke too much.
3. I'm realizing that I'm becoming more depressed, more often.
4. I seek approval. For everything.
5. I am not a cutter, but when I stress or get very low, I pull hairs out from my scalp.
6. I'm scared that I'll never be able to eat red meat again.
7. For the last 3 minutes, I've been trying to talk myself out of publishing this specific post.
8. I hate my smile, because my teeth are bad and it's disgusting.
9. I eat way too many sunflower seeds.
10. I think my husband is amazingly handsome (among many other incredible things). I honestly fangirl over his cheekbones and eyes. I can't believe he picked me. I still don't really know why he did.

I don't wanna talk about it.

But it seems like I have to. I've been putting it off. I'd rather just talk about my latest obsession; the BBC shows "Merlin" and "Sherlock", or tell you about how my Pastor hates "fish-breathed, fur ball vomiting house cats" (yes, that is a direct quote) or maybe about how long my hair is now, or something cute about Da Boy. But no .. it's time I get this off my .... well, chest ain't the right word... Soul? Heart? Mind? 


On January 9th, I had a hysterectomy. They took my uterus, left my ovaries, and burned off the Endometriosis. <---- That word right there just echos in my head everytime I say it or think it. ENDO....ENDo...ENdo...Endo...endo......


I am still recovering. Well, my body is recovering. Me, I'm not so sure about. 

 "You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." ♥ - C.S. Lewis (quoted from a friend on facebook) 

My body is recovering, quite nicely I think. My weight is down (how the hell much can an empty uterus weigh?!) to 124. My incisions are glued (they only did stitches on the inside) and although they sometimes still are painful, it's nothing I can't handle. I still am having a hard time bending down or walking very far (or fast) but hell, with my back that's nothing I'm not used to. I'm going to leave the rest out; and put it down as T.M.I. (trust me on this one, I feel bad enough that I've already told Mr. Man about so much).

The 'me' inside though - is changed - more than the physical; the scars, the pain, the bleeding, the bullshit. A small example of what I mean....

Last night, I cooked dinner. Simple, easy, no big thing, Hamburger Helper Stroganoff. As I dumped the raw ground beef into the pan to brown it, I couldn't help but see the red, the uncooked, the raw ... the meat. All I could think about was my missing uterus. Where is it? What did they do with it? Stop Miranda (I said in my head) It's a COW, for Christ's sake! Yes, this is a cow... you're right. Cows are girls, oh my god, what if there is cow uterus in here??!  Knock it off! You are just making it worse, just cook the fucking meat and get it brown! I turned up the heat. Cooked it faster. It turned brown, looked just like hamburger (like what the hell else should it look like?!). No problemo. I pulled myself together and continued cooking. Served dinner and sat down to eat. Mr. Man and I prayed and as I took the first forkful into my mouth, I couldn't imagine that this was beef. I knew it was, but I couldn't accept it. Couldn't make myself believe it.

Oh holy fuck I can't eat this!!!

I tried. I really did, but after a few more bites, I pushed aside my plate and ate my french bread slice.


It's that kind of thing that sneaks up on me, unawares, and bites me in the brain. And now, even as I type these letters to close my entry, I can't stop thinking about that meat. And here I was, so proud of myself for chatting nicely with that (very) pregnant lady we saw last night (I even smiled) asking her when she is due, and did she know if it was a boy or a girl. (April 23rd, a girl, to be named Brooklyn Savannah)

...now do you see why I didn't wanna talk about it?

~M

A quick summary...

Just to update you what's going on, since I still haven't really found time to do a nice big blog about it all (well, that and I can't think of how to start) I'll sum up..

Da Boy is now with us 1 week at a time. 1 here, 1 there, repeat. Also, his biological father moved about an hour away, which makes getting Da Boy to school on time rather difficult.

Sissy T is getting married. In September. To a boy we haven't met. Yeah.

I have been diagnosed with Endo. Now, I have to have a hysterectomy. On Monday (no joke) And I'm scared. A Lot. So much for almost 4 years of trying to get pregnant. To be honest, I can't even form sentences about how I feel emotionally about this subject.

We started going to a new church. Full of wonderful people. Now the people at our old church barely speak to us and I feel like they don't want to be friends with us anymore.

I've been painting, and crocheting, and spending WAY too much time looking at Tumblr browsing #Merlin.

Mr. Man has been diagnosed with functional dyspepsia. Only problem is, the meds seem worse than the disease. Now he's having chest pains and tingling in his hands and feet. And I'm scared. A lot.

However....


I got a new camera for Christmas ... no joke, I don't think I've ever been so excited. It's a Canon, with a separate lens. Sheeeaaahhh!

Ok, that'll have to do for now. Da Boy leaves in an hour and I've gotta get his stuff together. Ciao for now, I will try to post more later today.
~M

Welcome Once Again

You don't have to read this. I give you permission right now to close the page. I give you free reign over the comment box, and I PROMISE I will NOT get upset if you don't use that box. I am done trying to please everyone, and by proxy be pleased. I've learned that that isn't reasonable and it's also ridiculous. I'm a big girl now, and I can handle it. This is NOT going to be an Art Blog, nor yet and Crafting Blog, or even a Mommy Blog. This is Miranda's blog. What I post may not make any sense to you, but you aren't Miranda (and if you are, well, the hell with you, you aren't the right Miranda ;))

I've been spending a lot of time thinking lately, but not a lot of action has come from it. Mind you, a lot of things are going on (and I mean a LOT) and things are changing ... hell, my whole LIFE is changing. Anyway, I digress (for the moment) to tell you the reason this post showed up in your email/blog roll/reading list/thingy.

It's 2012 and since so many things are changing in my life, I need a place I can put it all down, in my own words and be able to not only document, but to review at a later date; (some of) the events of my life.

Take it or leave it. This is for me and those that love me. If you love me (or even kinda like me) I would be honored and thankful if you did read it. HOWEVER, please don't feel obligated to do so - this is neither the time nor the place for it.

I will post again later today if I have time, but for now I must go, it's lunch time and I'm hungry. I am going to try and post something, even if it's short and stupid, at least 4-5 times a week. I may screw that up, but I'm the only one who that will matter to, and I'm ok with it ;)

God Bless and stay strong. Enjoy your coffee. Know that you are loved, regardless.
~Miranda

No one ever called me Betty Crocker

Well it's just the truth, ya know?  

(make sure to click the pictures to see them bigger!)

My Grandmother, yes, absolutely - the woman could cook anything!  My Mom was the same way, I even have some of her handwritten recipes (not that I can really read them, but that's not the point) 

 (Mom and I making biscuits)                                               (Mom's recipes)

 

My Aunt can cook very well, my friends can heat up the kitchen (A la Princessa!) but me? I could heat it up, but you'd probably need a fire extinguisher by the time I was done.

 No, no (I can hear you Wendy and Chris) I'm not giving myself enough credit. That is what this blog post is for...

So after what seems like years weeks of ....

Mon: hamburger patties 

Tue: chicken breasts 

Wed: frozen pasta bowls 

Thu: repeat

Mr. Man and I have decided to start "trying new things" as far as meals go. So, I broke out the cook book and we started looking through it.

 

So far we've tried TWO new recipes this week and both were home-runs! 

 And, all though I didn't get any pictures of the Pepper-Lime Chicken, I did manage a few of the ribs! I made the sauce (changed it, there was just no way I was going to put 2 frickin teaspoons of chili powder in there!), Mr. Man did the grillin', and even Da Boy joined in and "painted" the ribs with our sauce! 

 (I still think ours look better than the book's picture of the ribs!) Anyways ... we've picked out a ton of other recipes from the book, and  if I remember I'll post about how those turn out too! I may not be Betty Crocker, but at least the boys and I won't starve ;)

~M

Today sucks.

Just like it has for the last 16 years.  Of course the very first June 2nd that meant anything to me was WAY over the top of Suck-ass Mountain, but of course, when you’re 15, death of a parent is always harder.

My Dad was a great guy… liked by many and deeply loved by those that loved him. He was tall and strong and funny. He knew Karate. He loved to dance and listen to music.  He could knock it out of the park when it came to one-liners. He loved his daughter.

Now he’s gone. Does he know he has a grandson that looks so much like him, sometimes I can’t believe my eyes? Does he know that I finally found the guy I was meant to be with? Does he know that I’m loved, safe, protected, and happy? Does he know that I can’t believe I ever got this far without him? Does he know that I still need him, love him, miss him, hate him for leaving me without him?

Good Friday? Rant...

I love how, as a Christian, I am expected to allow people to walk all over me. To say things that hurt me, piss me off, or demean me - but I'm not allowed to 'get my feelings hurt' 'get pissed off' or say anything back to them. I'm just supposed to let it go, smile, and pretend that they aren't total idiots (therefore proving myself to be one). Gee, thanks for that.

Why is that? I'm beginning to hate facebook because of this. People seem bent on saying things on there that not only are rude, crude, and otherwise totally unacceptable, yet somehow if I contradict them in any manner, I'm the bad guy!! WTF?! Seriously ... I'm really done with people thinking I don't care if they tell me abortion is right, gay marriage is cool, or giving birth in hospitals is bad (and I'm pretty sure this includes breast feeding too, OMW).

Yes, I know .. calm down Miranda. It's Good Friday, think about the sacrifice that Christ made for you - don't downplay it by getting all worked up over something that isn't worth it. But you know what? This isn't just about today .. this shit happens all the time, and I'm finally fed up. I believe it's time to sever some connections, clean up the mess, get rid of the problem. Burn those bridges that lead to harmful and scary places. I'm afraid to, though. I'm afraid because I know that I will be the 'bitch' for doing it - I don't want to lose friends .. I don't have enough to be losing. But is it worth keeping these friendships - and the cost of my emotional balance, my inner peace? My stress levels are through the roof, and everytime I get upset like this, ya know what happens next? I can guarantee that within 24 hours my back will be out, with shooting pains down my legs and a migraine, and I'll be hurting again, not just emotionally, but physically. 

I'll end up being a pariah on FB to those people. And not just FB, but a number of other sites, where we all connect. Is it worth it; to maybe be cast away from my other friends because of these few people that are making me crazy? Am I the one in the wrong here? I don't know .. I'm sure some people reading this are laughing because this is all my own fault and here I am bitching about it and blaming others. I know that I have a hand in this, I realize that. I have my own issues that I have to deal with and part of that is just that I see these people with things that I wish to have, that don't treasure them. They have this most wonderful treasure and they do nothing but complain and gripe and treat it like it doesn't mean anything - yet I would give anything for the blessing they have.

I'm not sure what to do right now .. ranting about it has helped a little, but now it's time to act on it. What to do - sever the ties and move on, or smile and plot their deaths in my head?

100 Day Challenge

I will not be doing these everyday - I will take my time and do them when I want to, but as close to "daily" as I can. I am also posting these on FB!

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for awhile.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of something you'd like to do again.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most fucked up things with.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.
Day 31 - A picture of a tradition you have.
Day 32 - A picture of a crazy night.
Day 33 - A picture of the house you grew up in.
Day 34 - A picture of your currently most played CD.
Day 35 - A picture of your favorite place to eat.
Day 36 - A picture of your ‘other half'.
Day 37 - A picture of the people you spend most of your time with.
Day 38 - A picture of the best part of your day.
Day 39 - A picture of your favorite movie.
Day 40 - A picture of your favorite Disney character.
Day 41 - A picture of your pet.
Day 42 - A picture of your dream house.
Day 43 - A picture of something you can’t function without.
Day 44 - A picture of someone you’re told you look like.
Day 45 - A picture of your room.
Day 46 - A picture of where you wish you were right now.
Day 47 - A picture of your favorite place to shop.
Day 48 - A picture of your favorite actress/actor.
Day 49 - A picture of where you live.
Day 50 - A picture of your most frequented place.
Day 51 - A picture of your dream car.
Day 52 - A picture of your favorite sport.
Day 53 - A picture of someone you think is hot.
Day 54 - A picture of the one thing you would bring if you
were stranded on a deserted island.
Day 55 - A picture of the last movie you saw in theaters.
Day 56 - A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 57 - A picture of your favorite holiday.
Day 58 - A picture of your favorite animal.
Day 59 - A picture of a random item that you own.
Day 60 - A picture of your pet.
Day 61 - School class picture
Day 62 - Last place you traveled to
Day 63 - An Award or Certificate you've received
Day 64 - Favorite childhood book
Day 65 - A picture of you and your best friend
Day 66 - A picture in your room
Day 67 - Something Green
Day 68 - A magazine you like
Day 69 - Something Red
Day 70 - Something you borrowed from someone else
Day 71 - A picture of your favorite piece of jewelry
Day 72 - A stuffed animal
Day 73 - Your lunch
Day 74 - Something you found under your bed
Day 75 - You and a friend
Day 76 - Something that annoys you
Day 77 - The last thing that you bought
Day 78 - Your sunglasses
Day 79 - A ticket from somewhere you've been
Day 80 - Your favorite childhood movie
Day 81 - Something you baked
Day 82 - The most embarrassing thing in your closet
Day 83 - The moon tonight
Day 84 - Your favorite pair of shorts
Day 85 - Something Pink
Day 86 - Something your mom bought you
Day 87 - Something you hold dear to your heart
Day 88 - Your bathroom
Day 89 - What's in your fridge?
Day 90 - Your latest drawing/art/craft.
Day 91 - Something that made you smile today
Day 92 - Something weird in your house
Day 93 - The view from your bedroom window
Day 94 - What your doing right now
Day 95 - Something yellow
Day 96 - A place you went today
Day 97 - Something heart shaped
Day 98 - Your favorite nail polish color
Day 99 - Something that makes you feel accomplished
Day 100 - The final picture of yourself

Wordful Wednesday-Phone Photo Memories

Isn't taking pictures with your phone so much fun?! I love it, I just wish I had a better phone, and therefore, a better camera in it. Here are my favorite camera shots from my lousy phone. I'm hoping to get a better phone soon, so maybe next time I'll have better pics for you! I did my best to make these photos better through photoshop - at least now you can see what the pictures are of!

Da Boy - we called him "Spike" for 2 days

(5-6 months ago)

Self portrait - my new haircut

(6 months ago maybe?)

(2009) Mr. Man makin' a funny at a restaurant.

(2009) I told them "Make nice funny faces"

(to boys 'nice' = calm)

Mr. Man and Sissy T at her

going away party in SoCal (2009)

 Adso when he was teensy. He was so friggin cute.

(2008) 

Sora, the day we brought him home. No, his head

really isn't that blurry. (2009)

Da Boy at Grandma's house, making pancakes

(Thanksgiving 2009)

Me - 2nd place as a Faerie for Halloween at

Casino Fandango (2008)

Da Boy on his best behavior waiting in the 

church office. (2009)

Good News and Better News

The good news is... Mr. Man and I started a new class at church last night called "Church History". I've been looking forward to this class for months now, ever since they first started talking about offering it. So, we grabbed our bibles and headed to class, after dropping Da Boy off at the church child care room. Besides the teacher, our class totaled 11 people. We were given the book "The Church in History" by B.K. Kuiper and with that and a Power Point, we got to work. This class is exactly what I've been praying for; an in-depth study of the Christian church, from Jesus to modern time, including a study in the denominations.

I'm so happy that we signed up for this class, it's going to be difficult; we are already in a growth group, plus regular church and our own daily devotionals, also Mr. Man is in a men's group studying the Book of Mark. I spent 2 hours last night, transcribing my notes and the power point to a notebook, and that was just for the first class! But, I think it'll be good for us, and I'm happy to see that Mr. Man is also excited about it.


The better news is.... the test results are in and I don't have to have surgery on my back! Can I get a woot woot?!  If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go read the post in which I explain whats wrong. I was pretty worried to have this test done, alone, but it turned out that it was no big deal and I'm just a wussy. Go me. I took Da Boy over to a friend's house for a bit, and he had a blast. The doctor that did the test was wonderful, very kind and gentle. Yes, he gave me the "if you don't quit smoking you are going to die" lecture, but I don't mind that, especially since Mr. Man and I are trying to quit. This test was really uber important because basically it would tell us if there was any nerve damage in my back or legs, and if so,  I would need surgery. But... there's not any! Just irritation, which I can alleviate with physical therapy, anti-inflammatory meds and quitting smoking. I really believe that God heard all of our prayers, and also the prayers of our friends. Some might call it luck, or even Fate... but I know the truth. I have been so blessed in this life, and I know that God wouldn't let me down this time.

Thankful Thursdays

Today I am thankful for so many things ...I decided to go around this week, taking pictures of a few of them.

I am thankful for flowers

I am thankful even for weeds

I am thankful for good friends that visit

I am thankful for kitties that love toys

I am thankful for my sleeping son

I am thankful for 3 pairs of shoes that 

got to be next to eachother for 3 weeks.

Peanut Butter & Toilet Paper

Here, let me adjust my soap box before I get started today. This is a very important subject and one that has really been on my heart lately. What I'm about to say here, may not make complete sense to you, but trust me - I get it. ;)

Da Boy has been growing lately. I know this because he's been eating us out of house and home, sleeping weird and crazy hours, and has been almost physically attached to me whenever I walk around the house. Now, none of this is new or different, he's always like this when he's growing. His favorite thing to eat is cereal. His second fave is peanut butter... on a spoon. Everyday I hear "Mom, can I had eenut bu'r ona boon? Pthweeze?" (still workin' on the speech delay, but getting better all the time).

Nothing wrong with peanut butter. I love it, I grew up with it and I love that my kid can eat it whenever he wants to. However... (Oh boy, I'm about to turn into my mother and I can't even believe it)... there are children in this world that don't have peanut butter. They don't even know what it tastes like, because they've never heard of it. They don't have pink lemonade or fish sticks or even toilet paper. They are poor and toyless, starving and homeless, sick and scared and dying. And what am I doing about it? Typing? My family sponsors a child in Africa through our church. One child.

Here are some stats for the city my family lives in. You might be interested to look up your city's statistics for hungry/homeless also.

• Every weekend almost 400 children in Carson City will go to bed hungry.

• Almost 20% of all children living in Carson City under the age of 5 live in poverty.

• The average age of a homeless person is...9! 

•  Our community has approximately 500 homeless children enrolled in its schools at any given time.

•  Many of our homeless children have little or no food on the weekends, often going to bed hungry! 

This is JUST IN CARSON CITY, NV! A small town of about 60,000 people. You want a bigger picture? Here are a few National statistics from FeedingAmerica

• Feeding America is annually providing food to 37 million Americans, including 14 million children. This is an increase of 46 percent over 2006, when we were feeding 25 million Americans, including 9 million children, each year.
• That means one in eight Americans now rely on Feeding America for food and groceries.
• Feeding America's nationwide network of food banks is feeding 1 million more Americans each week than we did in 2006. 
• Thirty-six percent of the households we serve have at least one person working.
• More than one-third of client households report having to choose between food and other basic necessities, such as rent, utilities and medical care.
• The number of children the Feeding America network serves has increased by 50 percent since 2006.

That's just the US - now think about the rest of the world. It's a scary thought. When I think about it I get a very anxious, panicky feeling in my body... I need to do something about this - NOW!

But what to do? I can't afford to sponsor anymore children. I can't open a shelter or soup kitchen. I can (and do) donate food to our church's food pantry, but it's shelves are still bare. Why? Because we feed a lot of families through our food pantry. But it's not enough. It's never going to be enough. Not unless we ALL pour our hearts and souls into it.

I am taking an oath. I promise to tell people about this. I promise to up my food donations to our local pantries and ask my friends/neighbors/co-workers/associates to do the same. I promise to explain to my child about hunger, and why it's important to fight it. I promise not to condemn him for wanting fruit snacks or peanut butter but to be grateful to God for providing us with them. I promise to pray vigilantly for those that are hungry, homeless and hurting. I promise to not forget about this in a few days, when life gets complicated or stressful, but to focus on doing my part to help.

Will you take this oath with me? Will you do your part and stand with me as a soldier in the fight against hunger? Will you help change the world?

<a href="http://faithingodandcoffee.blogspot.com/2010/05/peanut-butter-toilet-paper.html" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="Its awwight Mama" src="http://i603.photobucket.com/albums/tt119/mirapelo/oath1.jpg" /></a><br />

Feel free to take this badge and put it up wherever you want people to see. Your blog, your email, your Facebook/Twitter - whatever. Take the Oath, take the badge, and take charge!

Bringing Miranda's Back... well, back!

(back-dated from 5/12/2010)

If you take a look at my last post, Hiatus - I was in a pretty bad place. Hurting, cranky, and worried, I was not really in what you'd call a 'good place'.  Today, however, I'm a bit better. Yesterday I went to the doctor and had my first, and hopefully only epidural shot for my back. I woke up this morning almost completely pain FREE! Only some soreness, but what a blessing not to wince with every step! God is good ALL the time!

The visit to the doctor's was not very note-worthy, but I'm proud to say that I went in alone (they wouldn't let Da Boy in, so he and Mr. Man hung out in the waiting room) I didn't scream or pass out, and I wasn't ashamed that I cried a little. It hurt. No, not as much as I thought it was going to, but yeah - it hurt. 


See I wasn't even going to get the epidural. I was terrified of the procedure, scared to death that it would be painful, and worried that it would somehow make me worse. With that said - I owe huge and sincere thanks to a couple of people. 

THANK YOU Mr. Man for telling me "it's your choice whether or not to do it, but I think you should" and praying with me about it. I love you.

THANK YOU DeeJay for telling me about your experiences with this disease and the epidurals. Also for telling me to get the epidural .. I think if you'd said not to, I wouldn't have.

THANK YOU Princess, Loue, Sissy T, Alice, Mark, Debbie & Bill, Brian & Jo, Sunny, Caitlin, Steph and everyone else who prayed for me, talked with me about it, and supported me through this. I cannot explain how much it means to me that I am called 'friend' by so many. I can only pray that I am as good a friend to all of you as you are to me. 

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

I have spent the last several days doing just that. Or rather, trying to do just that. I've been anxious, and scared, and unable to make simple decisions for the last week. So, once I figured out that I was being attacked by the Enemy, I've been battling those feelings, and turning to my Life Manual for help. I found it in two places. The scripture above has been a mantra for me throughout these last few months, but I've also been directed (by friends, the Christian radio station I listen to, and Pastor Bill's sermons) to Jeremiah for inspiration, comfort and support from my Father. 

Jeremiah 29:11-15

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 31:3-4

 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
       "I have loved you with an everlasting love;
       I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

  I will build you up again
       and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
       Again you will take up your tambourines
       and go out to dance with the joyful."

I am scheduled to have my first epidural shot today. This is supposed to help relieve the pain so that I am able to do physical therapy and strengthen my core and back so that the next time it starts hurting it may not be as bad. I've been really stressing about this procedure,  but I know that God wants me to do it, and that it will help. I also know that many people are praying for me. I wish there was a way I could say "Thank You" enough for everything that my friends have done for me... but I don't know how. The only way I can, is to do my best to get better.

Da Boy's Choice

Today I've decided to let Da Boy choose my blog post for the day. He wanted to blog about his balls. You laugh, but I'm serious. Da Boy collects two things -  Hot Wheels cars and balls. Balls of all sizes, materials, and colors. He loves them, he cherishes them, and he's very proud of his balls.

Me: Hey Babe, you wanna help Mommy work today?
Da Boy: Yeah.
Me: Mommy has to write a story - what should we write about today?
Da Boy: I know!! My balls.
Me: (blink blink) Excuse me?
Da Boy: My bally balls!
Me: Oh, hummm, yeah ok, why not?
Da Boy: Cuz I want to.
Me: (snort, giggle) Sounds good babe. Tell me about your balls.
Da Boy: Awwight.



5 Questions About Da Boy's Ball Collection:

1. Which ball is your favorite?

I wike my miwy ace ball. (smiley face ball)

2. What's your favorite game with a ball?
I wike Bally ball game!

3. How do you play bally ball game?
I can do it with orange ballies. You do it wike this:
He takes 2 orange Nerf balls and throws them in the air and dances and jumps until they fall and stop rolling.

4. How many balls do you think you have?
Um. I have one in my hand... (he runs away, comes back with 4 blue plastic golf balls) Wook! 1, 2, 3, 4!

5. How many balls do you wish you had?
I wish I can had 2 more (he thrusts two fingers 1/2 an inch from my eyes.)

Me: Thank you Da Boy for letting me ask you about your balls today.
Da Boy: Your welcome, hey Mommy? Can I ask you some westions?






5 questions with Mama: (after asking me about balls, I told him I don't collect balls, but I do collect perfume bottles) Yes, I let him type his questions.

1. t7uigtgu556i60665i6i5855ifti What your Aarate perume bowwle? (favorite perfume bottle)
My favorite is my butterfly jeweled bottle.

2. e-t5-656666960rrr06-5polt;lssgggitopw;;;y;;l How many you got?
I have 8 all together.

(See Loue - I fixed Tink!)


3. agsetftrtryeyruukgirgiut  Which one mell da bess?
I think the 'Fancy' perfume by Jessica Simpson smells the best. (That's the orange one in the back, rightside of the pic above)

4. jityyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyfttytyufyuyjhjfughfrhhhhhhhryfftgff  Is dere one you wike to had for mommy?
Yes there is. I would like to have the 'Princess' by Vera Wang.

5. ffffffffffffffffffffffffffyt (he stops typing,looks over and whispers at me) I don't had anymore westions. It you turn. You had anymore westions?

Me. No, actually I don't.
Da Boy: Mayee Daddy do.
He gets up and walks away. End of interviews.

Wordless Wednesday 2/3/2KX

Just a few random photographs that I've taken, that really just intrigued me. Thought I'd share. :) 

  

...a leaf in our garage...

  

 ...a light ball at one of our church's concerts...

  

...a "just watered" rose at a friend's house...

  

 ...Adso...

 

...where we live...

My weekend in review

This last weekend was a doozy - I'm still reeling from certain aspects of it, and I don't expect that to change anytime soon. A few months ago, we were notified that our senior Pastor would be leaving to start a new church in California, and needless to say, I found the news a bit... stressful. Last Tuesday we were notified that another of our Pastors would be moving on, and that the Saturday service would be a "send off" for him and his wife.So, sick though we've been, Mr. Man, Da Boy and I made it to church. The place was packed! The only time we have that many people on a Saturday is for Easter or Christmas services. After a stirring worship session and a powerful sermon, they brought up the Pastor and his wife. It was explained that they have heard the call of the Lord and will be moving to our newest affiliate church in North Lake Tahoe. Then, like 3/4 of the church stood up and walked to the stage! All of these extra people were from the other church - come to welcome their new Pastor. WOW! I was astonished! What a fantastic gesture! Then they said the name of the church. My eyes got big, my head snapped up, and all of a sudden I couldn't seem to breathe. It just happens to be the church I married my first husband in. It also just happens to be the church Mr. Man's ex-wife and husband go to. You have got to be kidding me. Then, as I looked into the face of our ex-Pastor's wife, I started crying. I don't know her well, we haven't become 'friends' or anything,  but I can't imagine her not being there anymore. She is the one that handed me the sponsor packet for our little girl in Africa. She called me by name when she handed it to me saying "Miranda, this one is for you." At the time, I didn't even know she knew my name. Since then, we've shared a couple of jokes (they are form Texas, I used to live there also) we've talked about Da Boy and potty training, and wished each other a Merry Christmas with a hug. So why was I blubbering like a baby? Because she had tears in her eyes? No ... it's because I'm so absolutely sick of losing people.  They just keep leaving, and it seems that when they do - they never come back. They either pass on to Glory, or move too far to visit, or whatever, but I never see them again and I'm totally fed up with it. There's a reason I like things the way they are. Seems to me when things change, it's not usually for the better. Hhmmmpp.


What? There's more, you ask? Oh, that's just the beginning of my weekend! After church, Chris (who also had tears in his eyes, thank you very much!) offers to take us to one of the casinos for dinner at their cafe. We get there, Da Boy has fallen asleep in the backseat, I carry him in and we sit down. We order our dinners - Chris got a sandwich with green chilies, Da Boy orders a hot dog, and I get a taco salad. We all color Da Boy's menu while we wait (I was going to scan it in for you, but I'm too friggin lazy. Just know that it was awesome) and begin to devour it when the food arrives.  Chris is done first (of course) and as I'm taking my 4th bite of salad his work phone rings. He answers it (because he's on call this week) and I hear "Yeah I'll be there as soon as I can". I look around the table - Chris is done, Da Boy is working on an onion ring and has half of his hot dog left, and I haven't even made a dent in my dinner yet. Ok. So I chase after the waitress and get two to-go boxes and the check. We hightail it out of there and race home. Chris jumps in his work truck and Da Boy and I sit down to finish our dinner. Da Boy asks when Daddy will be home and I say "soon honey, it won't take too long". HA! HA! Friggin HA! That was at 7pm. Da Boy and I played his little bingo game and two rounds of checkers. I gave him a bath and read him a story, I put him to bed at 9:15.  By midnight I was so tired I could barely stand and I'd cleaned everything short of the toilets and the floors. I'd read some of my book, I'd colored in my coloring book (shuddup, I like it) I'd checked my farm on facebook. Da Boy woke up at 12:30 and told me "I can't go to sleep" I put him back in bed where he promptly fell back to sleep. Chris finally made it home at 1:30 in the morning. Sigh.

Sunday (what, you think my weekend was only one day long?) was our "rest up" day. Da Boy woke up around 8am and I got up with him, trying to let Chris sleep a bit. I get Da Boy all settled with cereal and orange slices and Sesame Street, and I grab my coffee and head outside for a cigarette. I put my foot on the one step down to the garage, and fall. Seriously. Somehow as I am falling, I manage to spill all of the coffee in my cup, yet set the thing down softly and upright directly in front of me. I thought my ankle is broken. It's not, thankfully, but it certainly felt like it. I managed to get back up, hobble into the kitchen and call Da Boy to help me. He runs over, helps me out of my hazel-nut drenched sweater, and pulls up my pant leg to see if I am bleeding (I love my little doctor) Since I wasn't, I refill my coffee cup and head (slowly) back outside. By the time I get back in, Chris is up, and I am having trouble walking. My leg is fine, but my back is out. Grrrrr.

We spent the rest of the day, alternating between watching football, napping, and playing games - all with me on the heating pad.

You think Mondays suck? I'll trade you your Monday for my weekend anytime!

He hurt your what?!

This morning Da Boy woke up with this nasty rasping cough. He stumbled into the kitchen and climbed up on me as I tried to hug him. I took him to the couch and we were cuddling (me asking how do you feel, does your throat hurt, all that jazz) and Sora, our little orange tabby, decides to climb up and lay down on DB's tummy.
DB pets him for a minute and then  abruptly picks him up and tosses him to the floor.

Me: "Son, why did you do that?"
DB: "Him sit on me. Mom, I has doe peepee."
Me: "Ok, lets go."

We walk to the bathroom and as DB is unzipping his Lightning McQueen footed jammies, he grabs his privates and declares "Mama.... Ora hurt my peanut!"

Me: (laughing) "He hurt your what?"
DB: "No, my peawon."
Me: "You mean your penis?"
DB: "Oh. (giggle) yeah, my peamiss"

 At least this time he didn't ask me to kiss it better. About a year ago he did ask me to kiss it, because he hurt himself, and I told him no, I wouldn't and he tried to kiss it himself!  Ahh, to be a mom of a boy.

Ud Morring Mom

The following is the conversation I had with Da Boy about 10 minutes ago as I was sitting quietly (so as not to wake him up) at the computer, reading another blog.
P.S. - I type Da Boy's responses phonetically.

Bedroom door opens and closes.
DB: "Hey! Heyyyyyyy"
Me: "Good morning Baby, how are you?"
DB: "I need doe peepee"
Me: "Ok, well let's go."

We get into the bathroom, he's taking off his Buzz Lighyear pjs and teeny red boxer-briefs.
DB: "You hold my bes rens, Mom?" His best friends being his blanky, a purple hot wheel, a beanie baby giraffe and a bouncy ball.
Me: "Yeah, I'll hold them"
DB: "Mom, you had ud morring mom? I had ud morring awwww day."
Me: giggle. "Yeah Josh I've had a good morning so far, thanks."
DB: "I had ud morring and you had ud morring and Dad had ud morring. Where Dad?"
Me: "Dad's at work, remember he worked early today? He'll be home in a couple hours."
DB: "I aww done now" as he gets up and starts getting his pjs back on. "Ora and ah o had ud morring too." (meaning Sora and Adso our cats)
Me: "Oh yes I'm sure they have."
DB: taking back his toys "Mom, you may me haddy and I wud you. But dees my bes rens."
Me: "I love you too son, and you make ME very happy also."  As we walk down the hallway to the living room holding hands.

God I love this kid!! I haven't seen him in 2 weeks (his birth dad and I share custody, 2 weeks at a time) and I've missed him soooo much. I hate the situation, everybody hates it, including Da Boy, but for now it's how it has to be. Oh, I took pics of him in the bath last night...(no, not that kind!!) enjoy.